fml

Well, so much for starting my language course today. I got up at 6:30 this morning to make sure I had time to eat, take Amelie for a quick walk, shower and get ready in time to be at the train station by 8. Not a problem. I arrived at the central train station in Cologne at 8:25 and that left me with 35 minutes to get to the school, a trip which should only take about 10-15 minutes, depending on how long you have to wait for the right train. I made me way down to the U-Bahn just in time to catch the #18 train at 8:32. So far, all is well.

I took the train over 3 stops (I recall Esther saying 1 stop past Neumarkt) and things didn't look right. For example, I'm still underground, and I distinctly recall being above ground when I went to the school with Esther last week. This is where it all started to go wrong, because now suddenly I don't know where I am or which direction I'm going. I got off at this station and went up to the street (my first mistake) thinking that I had just gotten on the wrong train, and the right train will be nearby at street level. Things looked a little bit familiar, so I started walking in the direction I thought the school was. I ended up so lost and turned around that I couldn't even find my way back to the train so I could just go back to the central station and start over.

By 9am, when the class is starting, I'm lost in some part of Cologne and apparently nowhere near the school. To make things better, I don't know what the name of the school is, or what the address is, so I can't ask anyone for directions. Trying to find someone who speaks English (because I don't know enough German to explain the situation) and then saying "Ok, how do I get to this school where I'm supposed to be learning how to speak German? I don't know what it's called, or where it is, but can you help me?" Yeah, that'll work.

I tried following street signs, and train tracks, to get me back to something that was familiar to me, and instead I kept getting myself further and further from where I wanted to be. (I did, however, find the University of Cologne, twice, as well as Habibis Falafels and the Pimp My Hair salon.) By the time I got a hold of Esther, I was standing at a map and realized that I was on my way to Frechen, by foot, from Cologne. Frechen is to hell and gone from Cologne if you're trying to walk there! Esther told me to go back to the central station and start over, and take the #18 train from there toward Suelz. Are you kidding me?! I was on that train!!!

It must've taken me at least another 45 minutes to get back to the train station. But I made it back, went to where I needed to get on the #18, and took it to Arnulfstrasse, where I needed to get off. It was 4 or 5 stops past where I got off the last time. Don't ask me where I got the notion that Esther told me to get off one stop past Neumarkt, because clearly she didn't. By the time I found the school, it was 11:20. I had been wandering around Cologne for almost 3 hours. The best part is, I recognized a church nearby and realized that I had been less than half a block away from the school at some point, on the same street even, and went in a different direction. Awesome. I just went back to the central station, spent my last 3 Euro on a Coke and a bar of chocolate, and headed home (which, by the way, still meant walking another 15 minutes from the train to the house).

I'm tired, a can hardly feel my legs, my feet are killing me, and now I have to take Amelie for a walk before I pick up the kids and entertain them for the next 3 hours. I want to go to bed.