Happy Halloween!

Yesterday was a long day, but it was fun. It was Friday, so I had Pauline all day. I also had the neighbor to take care of for almost 3 hours. Her name is Jette, and she's 7 weeks younger than Pauline. She is so cute! She was really upset at first when her mom left, but Esther and I took the kids upstairs to play with their dolls and everything was fine. Jette loves dolls, apparently. They spent most of the time playing with dolls and Legos. After a while Pauline was looking for something else to do, so we went down stairs and I brought out the colored paper and scissors (the safety scissors that cut zigzags and stuff) for them to play with. Pauline generally just cuts little pieces off of the paper, which is what she did this time, but Jette doesn't know how to use scissors. I tried showing her how, but she couldn't figure out how to open the scissors once she made a cut with them. So, I figured I'd cut something out for her and she could color on it. I used a green piece of paper that I had already cut into to make her a heart, and she loved it. She got so excited when I showed it to her, that all she wanted to do for the rest of the time was to watch me cut out hearts of all different sizes. She wanted them all to be pink, though, because that's her favorite color. After a while Pauline got bored again (she's like a little boy) and wanted to play with clay, so that's what she and Jette did until Jette's mom, Britta, came to pick her up. Britta was happy to hear that Jette only cried for a couple of minutes and that she was really sweet and well behaved the whole time. I wouldn't be surprised if we have more play dates with Jette.

I went with Pauline and Esther when they went to pick up Gustav from Kindergarten because Esther was going to go to the home improvement store where I could get a pair of rainboots. When we got to the Kindergarten, though, Esther realized that she had completely forgotten about a little gathering that was supposed to be happening at the elementary school playground next door. Instead of going to the store, we hung around there so that Gustav could play with the other kids and Esther could socialize with the other parents. I got to meet a couple of the kids that will be at Gustav's birthday party next week, so that was nice. There were a few boys that were playing around in pirate and skeleton costumes. Pauline was walking to go play with something, but then when she saw them she came running back and buried her face in my legs because she was scared. She just stood there and held onto me for a few minutes before she felt safe to venture out again. It was really sweet. While I pushing Pauline and Gustav on a little basket swing, this little girl named Julia came over and wanted to ride on it, to. So I put her on there with the other kids, and she held onto the swing with one hand, and Pauline with the other one. It was really cute.

When it was time to leave, Gustav wasn't ready to go so his friend Dominik's mom was going to bring him home a little later. By the time he got home, Esther and Olaf were just stepping out to go to dinner in the city with their friends. Gustav got so upset. They had to back out of the door, telling him they'd be back later, and I had to lock the door behind them and take the key away so Gustav couldn't open it. It was time to get the kids ready for bed, so I started boiling water to make noodles for dinner and took Pauline upstairs to get ready. Every time we have to change her diaper we have her sit on the potty and she pretends to go to the bathroom. Last night she actually peed in the toilet. I think that was the first time. She took a little piece of toilet paper to wipe herself with, and she was confused when it was wet. That was pretty exciting, I guess.

In the meantime, Gustav stood at the front door, holding the doorknob and screaming until he literally cried himself to sleep. I went downstairs after I was finished with Pauline and he was passed out on the floor in the doorway. When I went to wake him up to take him upstairs, he immediately started crying again (but it was more of a whimper) as if he had never stopped. He didn't give me any trouble while I got him cleaned up and changed into his pajamas. He just wanted to stay on his sofa, so I left him there while Pauline and I had dinner. After I put Pauline to bed, I carried him from his sofa to his bed and they both slept soundly until after Esther and Olaf got home. Amelie slept in my room next to my bed :-)

Today they bought some candy at the supermarket for the trick-or-treaters, though they themselves do not celebrate Halloween (a lot of people over here are still able to recognized that it's a purely consumer-driven holiday because it's not engrained in cultural tradition yet). Gustav was asking at breakfast why the other kids had to come to the door dressed as ghosts, because it scared him. I didn't even realize it, but I was coincidentally wearing my Ghostbusters T-shirt today, and he doesn't like that there's a ghost on it. So Esther cut up a couple of old bedsheets to make little ghost costumes for Gustav and Pauline so that instead of being afraid of the other kids, the other kids can be afraid of them. They look so freaking cute!!

I went to Frechen again today for a little bit. I've been wearing one pair of shoes basically the entire time I've been here, so I bought myself a couple pair of boots. I also bought this really funny children's book that Esther was reading to Gustav this morning. I wasn't really paying any attention to it until I heard Esther say "Pferdeapfel" meaning horse apples. I asked her if she actually just read about horse poop (and then had to explain to her what poop meant) and she did. The book is about a mole who is running around trying to figure out who pooped on his head. And this is actually seriously a children's book, not a joke like that fart book I bought that one time. It made me laugh, so I had to have it. Oh, and I got a clock that actually has a light on it this time, so now I can actually see what time it is.

Well, that ain't my fault!

I got yelled at again this morning while taking Amelie for her walk. Amelie and I were doing our own thing and there was a woman with her dog walking a little bit ahead of us. They had turned left and were really of no concern to me or Amelie. Then this other dog turns around and comes running across the field to where Amelie and I are. Amelie was actually being good and doing what she's supposed to do. She lay down where she was as he was approaching to show her submission and got up only as he got close so that she could greet him, still in a position of submission. Then she sniffed him properly, and knew immediately that she was more dominant. He went to turn on her, and she pinned him down in the field. If he tried to move, she stood on him and didn't let him go until she heard me tell her to stop. Then he went running away, still barking at her, so she chased him. The other woman yelled at me that I should never let my dog loose. It's not my fault my boxer is stronger than your lab. If you're dog's going to be the aggressor maybe you shouldn't let him of the leash. When you're reading this, it probably sounds like Amelie causes too many problems and I really shouldn't let her off the leash, but she honestly hasn't initiated any of the conflicts she's been in. They've always started when another dog does something that goes against proper social protocol, and Amelie follows it very strictly. Or when people are stupid. Amelie doesn't like stupid people. She's a great dog, and I love her to death. I still miss my Tweek, though.

The Gods Must Be Crazy

Someone seriously does not want me to learn German, and it's not me. I actually made it to the school this morning at 8:53 which left me 7 minutes to get to the class room. Easy. I went inside and in the entry room there was a sign posted that has all of that days courses listed, their time, the instructor, and the room number. My class is in room A208a. I walked up to the second floor, found the classroom, and . . . it was empty! So I went back downstairs and looked at the list again to see if I could figure out what was going on. The paper that I had at home said that I was supposed to be in room A107b with Oturan as my instructor (which is not what the sign had listed for my course number). So I gave it a try, figuring that the mistake has to be there and I'll find my course in this room. Wrong. It was Oturan, and it was A107b, but it wasn't my course. I asked everybody I saw if they were in the same class I was supposed to be in, and of course they weren't, nor did they know where my class was located. I must've walked into about 6 different classrooms trying to figure out what the hell was going on, and I got nowhere. Finally, at about 9:20, I went into the administration office to ask them where I was supposed to be. They looked it up on their computer, and I was registered for course A-423213 in room A208a from 9-12, exactly what the sign said. So I figured maybe I wasn't at the right room, or maybe I was just a little too early, so I tried again. At 9:30 the classroom was still empty. So, for the second time this week, I went to Cologne for my language course and didn't go to my language course. The only thing I can figure is that on Tuesday the instructor made an announcement about there not being class today, because nobody knows why my class wasn't there. So, as I said, the gods apparently don't want me to learn German.

I got paid for my time here yesterday, so I at least had a little money to do some shopping with. I walked around the main shopping center in Cologne and bought a few things I needed, like something to put my pens in, a clock (which I just doscovered doesn't have a backlight on it, so it's fairly useless), a notebook for class, a holder for my toothbrush so I don't have to keep leaving it on the counter, and a really gorgeous calendar for next year. Oh, and a box of 500 5th grade level German grammar index cards. I'm going to learn German if I have to teach myself! I also got to collect a lot of really cool leaves while I was walking around the more residential areas of the city. I felt like a kid every time that I went to pick one up, but that's ok. It's good to be childlike, just not childish.

After I picked up Gustav and Pauline I took them to the playground that's near their house. That way Esther could get a little more work done before they started making a lot of noise, and it allowed them to get rid of more energy so that, hopefully, they will sleep well tonight. Then we came home and drank warm cocoa because their hands were cold. But everyone was happy, including Gustav, and especially Esther. It's very relieving to her that she can come upstairs when she's done working and the children are happy and content. She had to leave right away to go pick up Olaf at the train station, and even then the kids didn't make a fuss. That's a really good sign that things are going well between me and the kids. Gustav even asked me to read him a book while she was gone. I always feel wierd when I read to them, though, because I wonder if they know when I say things wrong or if sometimes I just don't make sense to them.

Although nothing particularly exciting happened with the kids today, I do have a few short stories about Gustav's antics that I keep forgetting to mention. First, on Monday evening (it was only a matter of time), Gustav busted out his little wiener at the dinner table. I couldn't see what was going on, but I asked Esther if he was doing what I thought he was doing, and she said, "Yes, he showed it." Olaf laughed and said, "I at least was 6 when I started doing things like that." Classic. Then, last night at dinner, Gustav asked what kind of meat we were having. It was pork, so Esther responded "Schwein" which also means pig. So then Gustav asked if the pig was dead, as well as why it was dead. As he was eating his dinner he said, "Mama, das Schwein ist lecker, wenn es tot ist," (The pig is delicious when it's dead). We were all laughing. It reminds of the time that I was watching the pig races at the county fair and the little boy in the audience named his pig Breakfast.

I also go my first catcall Tuesday on the way to the bus. Three guys in a big rig rolled down their window and hollered at me. I guess that's probably my own fault, though. I must've looked like a trollop walking around in jeans and a T-shirt ;-).

Mmmmm, steak tartare.

Until about 2:30 this afternoon, today was pretty much me-time. Olaf took the kids to school this morning, and he also took Amelie with him to walk with her in the woods, which meant that I didn't have to walk Amelie this morning. There was also no laundry for me to take care of, so I vacuumed the main floor and then went about my own business. When Olaf got home he had some fresh rolls from the baker and meat from the butcher, so Olaf, Esther and I had breakfast together. Along with all of the usual assortment of meats, cheeses, spreads and marmalades, we had steak tartare this morning. People back home think I'm crazy for eating raw meat, but I am not alone, and it was delicious!

Since I didn't really have any other obligations, and because I missed my class yesterday, I started going through the coursebook and workbook for my language course. So far there's nothing terribly difficult about it. There were some words that I didn't recognize, but as far as how to do the exercises things were ok. Tomorrow I'm going to make another attempt at attending the course, and then I'll know how much of the coursebook they've already been through so I can catch up. Hopefully I won't be too lost.

This afternoon I took Amelie for a walk, and when I got back there were 4 men standing outside with Esther and Olaf, and one of them was in a hole in the ground in the front yard. I didn't know what was going on, but I could tell no one was really very happy about it. It turns out that it was the architect/contractor who built their house, 2 attorneys and an expert from the courthouse. The past 2 years I guess Olaf and Esther have been fighting with the architect in court. When the house was built, they didn't pay him the full amount that was agreed upon because he didn't do everything he was supposed to do, or didn't do it right. So he took them to court to demand payment and things still aren't settled. They were here for a long time, and Esther had to keep delaying the time for me to pick up the kids. It really wasn't a good idea to have the kids there while all of this was going on, both because they didn't need to be there to hear everything about the situation and because they would've created too much chaos.

I finally went to pick up the kids at 4:15 (the attorneys were still there) and, knowing that they were already going to be exhausted, I had to take them to the woods to keep them occupied until the visitors were gone. I didn't have to fight with them, but Gustav wasn't happy about being there. They both just really wanted to go home. To distract them from the fact that they were unhappy, I had Gustav collect nuts he found on the ground and Pauline and I collected leaves. It worked well enough to keep them there for about 45 minutes before we could go home.

When we got back to the house, Esther and Olaf were both concerned that my whole experience with the kids might have been terrible and that I might have needed to fight with Gustav. But Gustav right away started talking about how many nuts he collected, and how he was looking forward to being able to eat them (they actually are edible, so don't worry about that), and he explained how we collected these leaves and I told them that we could make a picture for Mom and... Esther looked at me and was really happy because Gustav came back from something he didn't want to do and was excited to have done it. All is well.

On a side note, I found out today that the last au pair, Louva, had been with 2 other families before she came to live with Esther and Olaf, and that each of the other families had told her to find someone else. Esther and Olaf didn't know any of this when they accepted her, though, so they were really patient with her. It's no surprise that after 6 months they were ready for her to go. Right now, though, Louva is wanted by the police because she never confirmed with the German government (or her own) that she returned to Madagaskar. So, as far as they know, she is still running around somewhere without a valid visa and has yet to return to her native country. That's pretty intense! Her story is definitely an interesting one.

fml

Well, so much for starting my language course today. I got up at 6:30 this morning to make sure I had time to eat, take Amelie for a quick walk, shower and get ready in time to be at the train station by 8. Not a problem. I arrived at the central train station in Cologne at 8:25 and that left me with 35 minutes to get to the school, a trip which should only take about 10-15 minutes, depending on how long you have to wait for the right train. I made me way down to the U-Bahn just in time to catch the #18 train at 8:32. So far, all is well.

I took the train over 3 stops (I recall Esther saying 1 stop past Neumarkt) and things didn't look right. For example, I'm still underground, and I distinctly recall being above ground when I went to the school with Esther last week. This is where it all started to go wrong, because now suddenly I don't know where I am or which direction I'm going. I got off at this station and went up to the street (my first mistake) thinking that I had just gotten on the wrong train, and the right train will be nearby at street level. Things looked a little bit familiar, so I started walking in the direction I thought the school was. I ended up so lost and turned around that I couldn't even find my way back to the train so I could just go back to the central station and start over.

By 9am, when the class is starting, I'm lost in some part of Cologne and apparently nowhere near the school. To make things better, I don't know what the name of the school is, or what the address is, so I can't ask anyone for directions. Trying to find someone who speaks English (because I don't know enough German to explain the situation) and then saying "Ok, how do I get to this school where I'm supposed to be learning how to speak German? I don't know what it's called, or where it is, but can you help me?" Yeah, that'll work.

I tried following street signs, and train tracks, to get me back to something that was familiar to me, and instead I kept getting myself further and further from where I wanted to be. (I did, however, find the University of Cologne, twice, as well as Habibis Falafels and the Pimp My Hair salon.) By the time I got a hold of Esther, I was standing at a map and realized that I was on my way to Frechen, by foot, from Cologne. Frechen is to hell and gone from Cologne if you're trying to walk there! Esther told me to go back to the central station and start over, and take the #18 train from there toward Suelz. Are you kidding me?! I was on that train!!!

It must've taken me at least another 45 minutes to get back to the train station. But I made it back, went to where I needed to get on the #18, and took it to Arnulfstrasse, where I needed to get off. It was 4 or 5 stops past where I got off the last time. Don't ask me where I got the notion that Esther told me to get off one stop past Neumarkt, because clearly she didn't. By the time I found the school, it was 11:20. I had been wandering around Cologne for almost 3 hours. The best part is, I recognized a church nearby and realized that I had been less than half a block away from the school at some point, on the same street even, and went in a different direction. Awesome. I just went back to the central station, spent my last 3 Euro on a Coke and a bar of chocolate, and headed home (which, by the way, still meant walking another 15 minutes from the train to the house).

I'm tired, a can hardly feel my legs, my feet are killing me, and now I have to take Amelie for a walk before I pick up the kids and entertain them for the next 3 hours. I want to go to bed.

:-(

Poor Pauline is so miserable. Esther had just walked out the door to go pick up Olaf at the train station when Pauline started coughing. I went into her room to check on her, and she started vomiting all over herself. She was on her back, so of course the first thing I did was put her on her side, and when she started crying I lifted her out of her bed to get her out of her vomit. She threw up again when I had her out of the bed. It was all over her shirt and in her hair, the poor little thing. I had to take her and give her a shower, and I had her in the shower when Olaf and Esther got home. Her ear is so red. She is in so much pain right now, and I feel so bad for her. They're definitely going to be taking her to the doctor; she hurts too badly not to. Esther thanked me profusely for taking care of Pauline. As if I would just leave her there, crying and covered in puke. If someone did that just because they were "off the clock" I'd be so pissed. I'm just glad that, even though all she really wants is her Mommy, Pauline understands that I'm here to help her and she doesn't fight with me when I do. If this had been Gustav, I'm not entirely sure that he would've let me help him. He probably would've, though. He likes me well enough, and I think he trusts me. I just wish there was more I could do to help her (but I'm sure Esther and Olaf do, too).

"Don't see me, Papa!"

After I picked up the kids this afternoon, I had them sit at the table to have some chocolate milk. They started drinking what I gave them and then decided they wanted it warm, so I warmed some more milk for them. I let them each scoop their own chocolate powder into their cups because it makes them feel better that way. Gustav did exactly what he was supposed to, and Pauline decided it was easier for her to shovel it than to scoop it, since she still only has the coordination of a 2 year old. I held the cocoa container near her cup so she could reach it with the least potential for a mess, and just when it seemed like she had about the right amount to push into her cup, she quickly stuck her spoon back in and scooped out enough to fill her cup half way with chocolate powder. She had already used the cup, and both of the kids have been sick, so I wasn't about to put it back in the container. She just had a really chocolaty chocolate milk.
Anyway, I went back to the stove to check on the milk and make sure it wasn't too hot (have I mentioned that they don't have a microwave?) and I looked over at the table to make sure everything was ok. Gustav looks at me and says "Guck weg, Manda," ("Look away") as he opens the chocolate container. I just kept looking at him, so he said it 2 more times. I looked away for a second, and when I looked back he had a spoon full of chocolate powder in his mouth and he was grinning from ear to ear (like I didn't know that was going to happen). I told him "Gustav, I can see what you did," and he said "Uh, uh, du hast nichts gesehen." Meanwhile his teeth and mouth are completely covered in chocolate. It was classic. Of course, having seen her brother do this, Pauline then did the same thing with the chocolate that was in her cup. They looked so rediculous, I just loved it.

Before the end of the night, Pauline started complaining about her ear. It came out of nowhere, and I thought that she had hit it on something, but it got worse and worse. So poor Paulinchen has an earache. I don't know if Esther's going to have to take her to the doctor tomorrow or not. Hopefully everything will be ok while I'm in Cologne (I start my language course tomorrow!) and her ear gets better soon.

Look at all the pretty colors!

The trees are getting more and more beautiful everyday. It's really obvious to me because I see the same trees at least once a day when I walk Amelie, and every time I look at them they're less and less green. A lot of them will probably be losing their leaves pretty soon, since it's been so cold and windy. In the meantime, though, it's nice to just look around and enjoy all the colors.

I drove into Frechen again this afternoon to see if I could find my coffee tumbler. I missed a turn somewhere and got lost in downtown Frechen, but it's kinda hard to get really lost so it was no big deal. I went back to the store that I thought I had left the tumbler in, and not only was it still there, but it was still sitting in the basket, along with everything else I had put in it to purchase, and the basket was in the exact same spot where I left it. Seriously? What are the odds? I couldn't buy the stuff I wanted though because the store only took cash and I have no money right now. I still haven't been paid for the month because it's taking a while to get everything sorted out with the bank. It's ok, though. I just have more time to get ideas and look around before I buy stuff.

Today I took the train into Cologne again, hoping that some of the stores might be open on a Sunday because it's a big city. They weren't. The little shops in the central train station were open, but they're mostly souvenir shops and they're really tiny. So I bought myself another candle holder, a loofah, and a watch. Now I just have to learn how to read a clock :)

I was going to cross the bridge and see what was on the other side of the Rhein, but I was worried about time so I didn't. I don't really know when the last train runs, but I didn't want to risk anything (especially after already getting the car locked in a garage yesterday). But I did get to go into the main part of the Dom. I kinda felt like an ass for taking pictures inside a cathedral during mass (something just feels a little disrespectful about it) but I wasn't the only one. Plus, it's too gorgeous to not take pictures.

I got on the train headed home at about 3:30, and about 3 stops before Koenigsdorf the train sat for several minutes. The conductor made an announcement but I wasn't paying attention because I just figured that we were waiting on another train further down the track. Then the people on the bench next to me get up, and tell me that I should get off the train and go back, too. So I did, figuring that since they speak German and the know the train system and they heard the announcement that it was a good idea to listen to them. So we all switched to the train that had just pulled up in the opposite direction and took it back to the central station. I asked what had happened and the guy said "Die Bahn ist kaputt." It's a good thing I listened to him, because otherwise I would've been sitting on that broken train for who knows how long. At the central station I had to wait 20 minutes for the next train going in my direction, then I had to get off at the next station and wait for another train to take me to Koenigsdorf. Good times, good times.

I took quite a few pictures today, considering that I didn't really do anything or see anything new. Everything here is just so beautiful, probably because it's so not home. The only thing that's really kept me in Southern California for the past 6 years has been my family and close friends. Aside from people, though, I don't really miss one thing about it. Maybe further down the road I will, but for now I'm just going to enjoy being somewhere else.

Ok, I'm done

I'm not really done, I'm just worn out from the last couple of days. I've had quite an adventure, but that's what I'm here for, right?

Let's start with yesterday. By the time I was done with everything I needed to do I was just too exhausted to write an update, so I just went to bed. Olaf was in Switzerland and Esther was sick as a dog and slept all day, so I was basically on my own all day. Meaning I was 100% responsible for the kids, not that a had the whole day to myself. So here are some highlights from that whole experience:

-Amelie found a friend during our morning walk, and she swiftly and immediately pinned him to the ground and I nearly crapped myself. But the dogs had previously established that Amelie is the dominant one, and they just played for about 10 minutes and everything was ok. She also uprooted a sugar beet that was bigger than her head and carried it around the whole time.
-Gustav has an audio cassette called "Baby Born hat Geburtstag" (Baby Born is a doll, for those of you who don't know, and it's all the rage over here) and he listened to it over, and over, and over again, all day.
-Pauline had diarrhea, so that was fun. What made it even better was the fact that it didn't seem to bother her, so by the time you realized that you needed to change her, she was a complete and utter mess. Lovely.
-I had to push Pauline in the stroller when I took Amelie for her afternoon walk, which was exhausting. Those things don't really work too well over rocks and mud and lumpy grass.
-While Gustav was playing with the neighbors, Pauline pulled all of the tape out of his cassette and I had to wind it all back together before Gustav got home and murdered somebody.
-The kids fought over the last bottle of apple juice, so I had to hide it and tell them it was all gone.
-Pauline said "Uh, oh, mein Penis," when I was getting her ready for bed, and I just had to laugh.
-As I was putting her to bed, Pauline started crying because she wanted her Eisbaer, so when she wasn't looking Esther opened her bedroom door really quickly and threw the stuffed polar bear into the hallway so that I could shut Pauline up and the kids wouldn't know that Esther was awake. That made me laugh, too.

Fortunately, Gustav didn't really give me any trouble. He refused to go with me to take Amelie for a walk in the morning because he knew his mom was still at home, so I left both of the kids and went by myself. When it came time to get him ready for bed, though, there was no problem. He didn't fight with me (only a little play fighting) and was reluctant to go upstairs only until I promised him he could continue playing when he was ready for bed. He reminded me of this when I tried to put him in bed after dinner. It was actually really cute because I told him he could only play for a little bit, he agreed, and after about 3 minutes he simply put down his Legos, got into bed and told Pauline it was time for them to go to sleep. According to Esther, that's typical Gustav. You make a deal or arrangement with him, and you can trust that he'll stick to it. He just needs to have the opportunity to show his own responsibility.

So yesterday was my total mom day, and today was my total moron day.


I took the car into Frechen at around 1:30 or 2 so that I could walk around, maybe do a little shopping. I was in this one little store and had found a clock and a couple other things for my room, and I had to leave everything there because I needed to go to the bathroom. Most places don't actually have a restroom in them, at least not for the public, so I had to go find one. I spent the next hour trying to find a freakin' bathroom. There were 2 public restrooms, but they were both locked and inaccessable, and most of the shops and things were closed anyway because it was a Saturday. Finally I found a drugstore where one of the women was able to take me to the employee restroom. She had to enter a code to access their back room, take me up a spiral staircase to the second floor, and wait there for me so that she could let me out of the backroom again. It was awesome.

By the time I had that all taken care of, it was 3:50 and the few places that were open were going to be closing in 10 minutes (if they hadn't closed already). So I didn't get to go back and get the stuff I left in that one store, and I didn't really get to do any other shopping, either.

When I went back to the garage to get in the car and go home, I couldn't find the car. I thought it was just because I was in the wrong part of the garage, I went in a different door that I came out of, whatever. So I went back up to the street to find the same door that I came out of, and it was locked. Crap. This was not a good sign, because it meant that I wasn't as lost as I thought I was, but I still couldn't find the car. It turns out that they close off and lock certain parts of the garage at certain times. I parked in a section that they locked at 4. I couln't even get to the car, let alone get the car out. Oh, and the battery on my phone had died. I managed to catch a woman who lived in the building above the garage as she was opening the door (you know, the one that I came out of but was now locked) and she confirmed that they lock everything up. She was in a hurry to catch a tram, so I didn't bother her any further. I just sat on a bench outside, looking up Olaf's number in my iPod so that I could call and tell him what happened.

Just as I was about to go find a payphone, the same woman came out to find me. She told me that she was going to help me and just catch the next tram. Because she has access to the building, she was actually able to open the door for me to get into the garage, and then she opened the gate that was closing off that section of the garage. How sweet is she?! She said that she was in a hurry because that particular tram doesn't come very often and she wanted to be sure to catch it, but she thought that helping me was more important. I need to go back and find this woman and give her a gift or something. Where in America will you find someone who's willing to do that for a stranger?

That wasn't the end of my adventure, though. The car was completely out of gas (the light was on and it was beeping at me) so I had to make it back to the gas station in Koenigsdorf before I got stranded. It's a good thing that the guage says Diesel on it, because otherwise I would never have thought to put that in there. I went in to pay the attendant (I only had 11 Euro) and then pumped the gas. For any of you who have ever been to Europe, you probably already know what's wrong with this situation. So I'm pumping the gas, and I figure it has to have filled 11 Euro worth, so I look at the pump. 13,25 Euro. Shit. So I had to find another 2,25 in the car to go back inside to pay for the extra gas that I got. The boy explained to me, in English, that in Germany you pump first, pay later. Oops. I totally knew that, too.

Finally, when I got home, I realized that I no longer had my coffee tumbler with me. It was the one that Esther bought for me at Starbucks last week, and I probably left it at the store that I walked out of to find a bathroom. I'm really bummed about that. Maybe if I go back they'll have it, otherwise I need to buy myself a new one. That'll have to wait until next week, though. I'm done with this week.

Today went by pretty much the same as yesterday, except that Gustav went back to Kindergarten this morning. With both the kids gone and no place for Olaf or me to go, Esther took the car to Cologne to go take her exam. Since there was no laundry to fold/iron and Emma was coming at 10 to clean the house, I had a late breakfast and took Amelie for a long walk. She kinda got cheated out of her second walk yesterday because I was taking care of Gustav, so I was just going to use up some of my free time with her today.

When I got back to the house and was about to start cleaning up the kitchen (it was 10:30 and Emma still wasn't there) Olaf came upstairs and told me that he already got a call from the Kindergarten saying that Gustav was still sick and wanted to come home. This was fine, except for the fact that there was no car. Instead, I got to pick him up on the bicycle. I haven't ridden a bike in 3 years, and I am really out of shape. Not to mention the fact that I've never ridden a bicycle with a child on the back of it, so that was interesting. I felt like I was wobbling all over the place, and the seat was just a little bit too high. We made it home without any problems, though, and Gustav was ok with it, so all is well.

Just as we expected, Gustav didn't act nearly as sick as he said he was. He stayed in his room for a little bit, quietly playing with his Legos and listening to a cassette. When he was bored with that, he came downstairs looking for something more interesting to do. His interaction with me was pretty typical, always telling me to go away and saying no to everything I ask, but he wasn't nearly as adamant about it as he has been in the past. He was holding his neck and acting like he had a sore throat so I gave him a cough drop that the cashier at the Apotheke gave me as a sample a few days ago, and that was enough to make him happy. After that we ate some cereal together, and then we sat at the table making pictures with colored paper and pencils. He didn't cry or fuss or yell at me at all. He was having fun, and smiling and happy to be with me, so all in all it was a good day.

I spoke too soon. Right after I wrote that last bit, I went to help get the kids ready for bed while Esther was in bed (she's sick again) and Olaf cooked dinner. As always I had no problem with Pauline, but I had to carry Gustav, kicking and screaming, into the bathroom. He was furious with me when I tried to make him change his underwear, so he just stood in the corner with his pants off crying and yelling at me. Finally Esther came in and told him that he needed to let me help him and that he would only be allowed out of the bathroom when he was finished. He continued to cry but let me get him ready for bed.

Gustav really does like me, though. He's told Esther several times that he likes me, and even after our little tiff he asked me politely to help him cut his spaghetti into smaller pieces for him. He's a good kid, and I don't think it will take him very long to fully accept me.

Today was a lot less productive than I intended it to be. My plan was to go into Frechen after I took Amelie for a walk this morning and walk around a little bit, maybe buy a few things for my room. (On a side note, Amelie growled at a woman this morning during our walk and I got yelled at for it. This girl was an idiot, though. She's one of those people that's only afraid of dogs because they're afraid of dogs. Amelie didn't even care that this chick was there until she started acting like a spaz. Ok, I'm done venting.) Instead, I stayed home all day with Gustav. He got the flu, probably from the kids at Kindergarten, and stayed home today because he threw up last night and had a stomach ache all day. At one point he had a slight fever, too. Esther has to take an exam tomorrow, something to do with her accounting certification, so she's been studying and had a lot of work to do and therefore couldn't just sit and take care of Gustav all day. That was my job.

It actually wasn't that bad, though. Gustav had made a promise to Esther last night that he wouldn't put on the same act that he did yesterday afternoon, and he didn't. Although every time I walked into the room to check on him (whether it was his room or Esther's) he told me to go away, when he actually needed help he didn't fight with me. At one point he came downstairs to get something to eat and then went to lie down on the sofa. He was fussy and couldn't sleep, so I went over and sat next to him. I gave him a pillow to rest his head on and then I started to rub his back and comb my fingers through his hair. He almost immediately fell asleep. Esther said that when I went to pick up Pauline, Gustav told her that I am "sehr nett," or really nice for those of you who don't know a word of German. So that's definitely an improvement from yesterday when he pretty much hated me.

I didn't get to go out on my own until around 6:30 tonight, so it was already starting to get dark. I tried taking some pictures of buildings and things in Koenigsdorf, but all I really accomplished was discovering that dusk is the worst possible time to take pictures when you don't know how to use your camera. My pictures where pretty much crap, so I'll have to try it again during the day. And since everything closes pretty early around here, I didn't get to do much either. But it was a nice walk and I enjoyed it.

Today was Esther and Olaf's wedding anniversary, but they didn't get to do anything special because Olaf is out of town on business again. They can't go Friday for the same reason, and tomorrow they weren't able to get a reservation at the restaurant they want to go to, so hopefully they'll be able to make it this weekend. It would mean that I have to babysit the kids for them that night, but that's ok.

I am exhausted! After I got home from picking up the kids today, I gave them some water and some yogurt and was going to take them to the playground that's just around the corner. Everything was fine until Gustav managed to sneak downstairs and saw Esther in her office. Then the shit hit the fan, and the whole charade started.

Gustav was crying and screaming and whining for over an hour. Esther locked her office door so that he couldn't come in because she had a lot of work to do, so he stood right outside of the door, holding on to the doorknob, crying his eyes out. For the life of me I could not get him to go upstairs and leave her alone. I tried taking him to the front door and putting his shoes on to get him out of the house, but he just kicked me. I made him some warm milk because that's what we always give them before they go to sleep, but he wouldn't take it. So I carried him up into his room and closed the door behind us and wouldn't let him out until he calmed down and listened to me. He wouldn't let me pick him up, get him ready for bed, or even go anywhere near him. Pretty much I had to physically force him to do anything, usually by holding him in my arms and pinning his knees to his chest so he couldn't kick or squirm and then carrying him to where I needed him to be. He finally gave in to the fact that he wasn't allowed to go down to the cellar, so he stood at the top of the stairs on the main floor and continued to cry while I played with Pauline in the living room. Gustav called my name a couple of times, because really he doesn't want to be ignored or left alone, even if it isn't his mom who's paying attention. But he still wouldn't come over to me or let me comfort him.

While I had Pauline upstairs and was getting her ready for bed Olaf came home, and as soon as he walked through the door the crying stopped. What a little turd! Esther had been listening to him, though, and she said that if Olaf hadn't come home so early, Gustav would eventually have calmed down and come over to me to comfort him. He had already started to quiet down a little bit, and he didn't have the red spots he gets on his forehead when he's really truly upset, so that's a good thing. But, boy, was it exhausting.

As much as it probably sounded like I was beating her child, Esther was very pleased with how I handled Gustav. She thinks it's important that, when he acts like this, I fight back with him because otherwise it just shows him that I don't really care about him and that he can get away with anything around me. And of course if he gets angry and hits me I'm not going to hit him back, but picking him up the way I did and having that physical contact shows him not only that he doesn't control me, but also that I care enough to fight back.

Apparently the last au pair never really tried to develop a relationship with Gustav. If Gustav had a temper tantrum, she just ignored him completely and gave all of her attention to Pauline. Pauline doesn't fight and get angry the same way Gustav does, so she's easy to handle and fun to be around. Gustav takes work, and she was never willing to give it (nor did she know how) so she didn't have any relationship with Gustav at all, good or bad. It may be a little bit rough right now but when he calms down, you can tell that Gustav really does like me, and that in time it will get better. He even asked me to play a game with him before dinner, so you know he doesn't hate me. As frustrating as today was, I still feel good about the situation.

Today went by really smoothly, except for a couple little problems that surprisingly had nothing to do with the kids. First, Amelie bit me during our walk this morning. She really didn't mean to, she just got a little overzealous about the stick in my hand. She didn't want to wait for me to throw it, so she jumped up to grab it and instead grabbed my finger. I tried to take a picture of it to put on here but my camera was focusing on everything but my finger, so it didn't work out. Anyway, it's really not bad at all, it just hurts like hell. So there it is, my first injury of the trip.
The next thing that happened was that I slept through Amelie's afternoon walk. I had set an alarm for 3 pm in case I fell asleep while I was resting in my room. When I heard the alarm, I turned it off and then immediately fell asleep. Awesome. Esther woke me up at 3:45, which was 45 minutes after I was supposed to take Amelie and only 15 minutes before I had to leave to pick up Gustav and Pauline. I'll have to take Amelie on a long walk tomorrow to make up for it.
And finally, while I was cleaning up the kitchen after dinner, I knocked a glass off the counter and it shattered on the floor. So none of these three things was major or detrimental in any way, which is good.
Aside from that, everything was great. When I went to pick up Gustav from Kindergarten, I found him outside, kneeling on the floor of a playhouse and leaning his head on a shelf. It looked like somebody had been mean to him or he was for whatever reason ignored by everyone else, because he just looked so sad. I went over there to find out what was wrong, and he was hesitant to talk to me at first. He wanted his mom, of course, but I explained to him that she was at home working (I cheated, actually, and told him in German so that he would understand and not get angry with me). It turns out he was just really tired. So once he acknowledged that she actually wasn't there, he came walking over to me and quite willing into my arms. He fell asleep in my arms with his head on my chest on just the short time that it took for me to walk to the car.
When we got home, I left Gustav sleeping in the car and went to ask Esther if she wanted me to put him in bed or leave him there for a while. She needed to use the car, but she knew that he would have a fit if he saw her and then she left. So Esther walked out through the garden gate as I brought Gustav in through the front door. He didn't fuss at all when I took off his shoes and jacket, which was a first. I took him upstairs to get ready for bed, but while I was in his room to find his pajamas he went looking for Esther. First he went downstairs to her office, then upstairs to her bedroom. When I first walked into the bedroom I found him on the bed, crying, and he yelled at me twice to go away. Again I explained that Esther was gone, and that I would help him get ready for bed. He kept crying but let me get him cleaned and dressed without fighting with me, and the second I put him in his bed he stopped crying and went to sleep. Hopefully after today he'll realize that I'm here to help him, and that I'm capable of doing what he needs to make him feel better.
Pauline, as usual, was no problem. I had given her a cup of chocolate milk to keep her occupied while I was upstairs with Gustav. When I came back downstairs to check on her, there was chocolate everywhere. Her mouth was covered in chocolate, she had it splashed on her cheeks and nose, on her forehead, in her hair, and all over the table. I don't know how she managed to do this, because she hadn't spilled her cup. I wish that I had me camera on me at the time, because I would love to have a picture of that. It was hilarious.

The Zoo

We took the kids to the Cologne Zoo today (they let me drive). It is so tiny in comparison to San Diego, but in a way I like it better. It feels more open, like the animals aren't so enclosed or cut off from everything else. I don't know. I think it's pretty typical for an intercity zoo, though. We didn't stay there all that long, only a couple of hours, because the kids got tired.

The baboon habitat was ridiculous! There were at least 40 baboons there, and a whole bunch of babies running around. It was one of my favorite parts, but nothing beats the penguins. Gustav stood by the penguin enclosure and just watched for about 10 minutes while anonymous people gathered around him and were then replaced by another group of strangers. It was like he was in his own little world, and if Esther hadn't called him out of it he would've stayed there forever. It was really cute. Aside from that, though, Gustav always stayed close to Esther and spent a good part of the day in the buggy.














Pauline, on the other hand, was completely independent. She was so intent on looking at everyone and investigating everything. Especially if there was another little girl walking around, or a baby stroller. I can't tell you how many times she walked up to a stroller and stuck her face in it to see who was inside. She was so busy looking around that she was constantly off balance from turning her head, and she stumbled over everything. She never worries that she's going to get lost or left behind, either. She just goes about her business and doesn't care about anything else. She is so different than Gustav. She tries anything and everything, but he doesn't do anything until he's absolutely positive that he can do it alone.

Aside from going to the zoo, there wasn't really a whole lot going on today. The kids didn't take a nap today, so that was exhausting for the rest of us. They can be such a pain when they're tired, and the more tired they are the harder it is to get them to go to bed. But they've been in bed for almost 2 hours now and I haven't heard a single whine or cry, so they're probably going to sleep pretty well tonight. And then tomorrow it's back to the usual for everyone. I think that I'm going to pick the kids up myself, though, which could be interesting. Gustav probably won't like it one bit, and I'm prepared to have quite a struggle on my hands in the afternoon. Esther told me tonight that the last au pair wasn't able to handle Gustav and his tantrums, and even after 6 months she couldn't get him to do anything or to let her do anything to help him. Apparently I already have a better relationship with him than she did, and Esther's going to do everything she can to make him realize and accept that I'm here as a part of this household. Pauline has already called me "meine Schwester" so I know she and I are good. Now if they could only understand English. . .

Today I got lost in Cologne, which is exactly what I wanted to do. It's about a 15 minute walk from the house to the S-Bahn station in Koenigsdorf. It took me a little longer to get there, though, because I took a little detour. We pass by this gorgeous tree everyday on the way to pick up Gustav, and I've been wanting to get a picture of it since I got here. It doesn't look as amazing in the picture as it does in real life, but it is so vibrant that you can see it through all the other trees from halfway down the road. So with the detour it took me probably 25 minutes to get to the train station, and then I had to wait another half hour for the next train into Cologne.

When I got to Cologne, I took the U-Bahn another 2 stops from the central station to get to Neumarkt, which is the main shopping center in the city. There are so many places to shop there! It's weird because you go into a department store there, and instead of being like Macy's or someplace where they have a little bit of a lot of different things, it's more like having an entire Best Buy, shoe store, jewelry store, candy shop, men's clothing store, women's clothing store, perfume shop, restaurant, etc. etc. all in one. So basically one store is like it's own mini mall. Anyway, I was primarily in this area because I needed to find a microphone for my computer, so once I did that I started to wander out of this area.

All over the city there were people covered in fake blood and makeup to make them look like zombies. There must have been at least a couple hundred of them, wandering around in groups. I don't know exactly what was going on, but I know there was one guy wearing a shirt that said "Cologne Chainsaw Masacre" on it, so I'm thinking that it's a Haunted House kind of thing. They've only been celebrating Halloween over here for about 20 years or so, and every year it gets bigger and bigger.

As I wandered out of the central area, I took as many narrow side streets as I could, because there was something fascinating on every one. A walkway that looks like nothing more than an alley might open up to a little Biergarten or plaza like this one. And when I say "walkway" it really means tiny little roads like the one in European Vacation. Speaking of which, I passed a group of men in Lederhosen and I think that I just missed seeing them do the slap dance :-)

I took a ton of pictures of the Dom and even found my way over the the Rhein. This is the first time I've seen it since I was in Germany 8 years ago. The Dom is huge, too. It's way bigger than the one in Venice, I think. There's also a current archaeological excavation going on in the middle of the city. I stumbled upon it while trying to walk around what I thought was a construction site (it was fenced off with chainlink fencing and just looked like a whole in the ground) and it turns out it's actually an excavation. I haven't had the chance yet, but I'm going to do a little research because I have no idea what it is that they're excavating. My German teacher from high school told me right before I left that there's a lot going on archaeologically in Cologne right now because the city archives collapsed into a tunnel that they were digging under the building (or something to that effect) and now they have to recover that. It would be cool to ba able to get in on that in some way, but I don't know how likely that is.

By the end of the day, I was exhausted. I did a lot of walking, and my feet were killing me because I got huge blisters from wearing Esther's rainboots to take Amelie for a walk yesterday. After I got back to Koenigsdorf, I actually took my shoes off to walk barefoot the last 5 minutes. Probably not the greatest idea in the world because it was freezing cold, but it felt so good to not have my shoes on anymore.

I got home about half way through dinner, so I sat down and ate with the family before they put the kids in bed. As soon as I opened the door at home, Pauline and Gustav both yelled my name. Actually, what they really said was "Hallo, Anna!" I don't know if it's because she can't say my name or if she really thinks that's what my name is, but Pauline started calling me Anja a few days ago, and now she and sometimes Gustav call me Anna. They're so freaking cute. Amelie was also very excited to see me.

After dinner I sat on the sofa watching football (aka soccer) with Olaf. Amelie sat with her face in my lap, trying to lick my face and hands the whole time. She seems to have particulaly taken a liking to me, which is good. She's not exactly a replacement for my crazy ass cat, but it's nice that she loves me and follows me around and wants to be with me all the time. It makes me happy.

I think todays was the first time that it really occured to me that I'm in a foreign country because this is the first time since I got here that I've done something touristy, but I still don't feel out of place. I think that even though I don't understand probably about 70% of what's being said to me and around me, it's more like I moved into a new house than to another country. I felt really comfortable on the train and finding my way through the train stations, even though I was by myself and using public transportation isn't exactly something I'm used to. It's almost like I just belong here, and everything else will just work itself out. It's a really comforting feeling, actually.

I made some progress with Gustav today. Instead of arguing or fighting with him (arguing with someone who doesn't understand you is pointless, anyway) I just ignore him. For example, after we dropped off Pauline this morning, he wouldn't get back in the car because he didn't want me to open his door; mommy has to do everything. Solution: I opened the door and Esther and I just sat in our seats talking until Gustav realized we weren't going to pay him any attention and he got in the car. I didn't have any problems with him for the rest of the day, and Esther put him to bed with very little resistance. Hopefully it doesn't take him very long to figure out this is how it's going to work until he finally cooperates.

Esther and I went to Cologne today to register me for the language school. It's right next to a train stop, so I don't have to walk very far or worry about getting lost trying to get there, which is good. I had to take a short placement test to determine which course I should be in. I didn't do too great, but I'm 2 course levels higher than their last au pair was :) The problem is that it puts me in a course that only meets Wednesday and Friday, and I can't go on Fridays because Pauline is at home all day. The woman who gave me the test tried to tell Esther that she needs to hire a babysitter, which is just stupid. Why would you hire another babysitter and then give the au pair the day off? Anyway, they're going to put me in a course that's one level below where I should be, and then I'm going to skip the Wednesday/Friday class and go into the one that's a little harder. For now, I'm going to be learning German 9am-1pm every Tuesday and Thursday.

I also had my first cup of Starbucks coffee since I left San Diego :) Esther bought me a Heidelberg tumbler to take in the car so I can feel more at home, and also because their mugs don't fit in the cupholders :)

This weekend will be my first real free time, so I'm going to try to get a bunch of pictures to post for everyone.

So Gustav hates me. Actually, it's really that he hates everything and everyone, or as Esther says, "he's mad at the world." But right now he's still mad at me because I took a cup away from him yesterday morning when we were trying to get him ready for Kindergarten. You would think that he'd be over something so insignificant by now, but he actually told Esther this morning that he was still mad about it. Oh well, what can you do? He's the oldest child, and he's a boy, so he's kind of a momma's boy and he needs to have everything his way, all the time, on his terms. He's really fickle though, and 10 minutes after he threw a huge fit because I took his shoes off he was laughing and playing with me. All it took was one time for me to put Pauline on my feet and lift her into the air (you know, the airplane thing) and Gustav immediately took his shoes off and came running over to play. Despite the problems we have with Gustav, Pauline still likes me and she's becoming more and more comfortable with me all the time. And Esther is happy because she thinks I handle the children well, and that's always a good thing.

I'm still learning what all of my responsibilities are here, but Olaf and Esther are really good about making sure they go through everything with me at least once to be sure that I understand my jobs. And they really don't expect all that much from me. Next week when Esther starts working again and starts going to physical therapy I will be a lot busier. She and Olaf both work primarily at home, but they spend almost all of that time in their office and are really busy. The good news is they also have a Putzfrau, a cleaning lady, and they don't expect me to clean the bathroom, do any dusting, clean the kids' rooms, or anything like that. And Esther also does all the laundry, including mine, so I don't have to worry about that either.

Today was a beautiful day. The sun was out and shining, but there was a slight breeze and it was pretty cold. It was 12 degrees C, but I still don't really know what that translates to in Fahrenheit. I do know that last night it was below freezing. Right now the sky is clouding up as I write this, and no doubt it will be raining before the sun goes down.

Tomorrow they let me drive the car for the first time to take the kids to Kindergarten. It's an automatic, so I don't have to worry about screwing that up. I just have to make sure I don't get lost. We'll see how this goes.

Today was a little more productive than the weekend. Gustav went back to the Kindergarten and Pauline went to daycare. I got to sleep in a little bit while Esther took the kids to school and then stopped by her office. But "sleeping in" here still means being dressed and ready to go before 9:30 am. After we had breakfast, Esther and I drove into Frechen to open a bank account for me and to get my Fahrkarte, or bus pass. I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that it allows me to take whatever train or bus that I need to get from here to Cologne, which is basically the only place I need to go while I'm here.
Esther also bought me a picture frame for my picture of Tweek and a candle holder with scented candles for my room to make it a little more like home. The room is still pretty stark, but it's a start, and Esther wants to help me decorate it which is pretty cool.
This afternoon I got to see where Gustav and Pauline go during the day. Gustav's Kindergarten is so cool, and Maria, the woman who runs Pauline's day care, is a really sweet woman. The kids really like her, which is always a good thing.
After we put the kids to bed, Esther and I watched a little bit of news (only a few words of which I fully understood) and made fig marmalade. It's more like a jam, really, but in Geman the word Marmelade is used universally for fruit preserves. Anyway, it tasted like Christmas and it was delicious. Esther is going to type up the receipe for me tomorrow so that I can bring it home with me.

I made it!

So I arrived in Germany on Friday afternoon, and everything's been a little crazy since then. The kids and I are all way to excited, and the family just got back from a 3 week vacation, so it's taking some time for everything to normalize. But I finally got my internet setup, so now I can start posting my pictures and keeping everyone updated on what's going on over here.

On Saturday morning, Olaf and Esther went to Ikea to buy me a new bed. (They love Ikea over here!) There was already a futon for me to sleep on in my room and it was pretty comfortable, but they thought that it was too big and wanted to give me more space. They also gave me a TV, a satellite receiver, a radio, and a lounge chair. My room is awesome!

So far Gustav and Pauline seem to like me pretty well. Although there are of course times when they don't want anyone but Mom, they're otherwise comfortable with coming to me when they get hurt, or when they want to be picked up, or when they want to sit in my lap. They're too cute. Things might be a little difficult for a while though, because Olaf and Esther want me to only speak to the kids in English, and they don't understand a word I'm saying. So no matter how many times I say "Gustav, don't hit your sister," all he hears is "Gustav, ..." Pauline seems to be picking up on a few things, though. In particular I think she understands when I say "your head" or "are you hurt?" But considering that she's 2, and therefore she's always hitting her head and everything hurts, that makes sense.


Yesterday I got to meet Grandpa and Amelie, the dog. She's so sweet, and very well behaved. But I've been told that she likes to display her dominance, so I have to watch out for dogs, joggers, and anyone sitting/laying on the ground. That sounds pretty bad, but she's actually a really good, well trained dog and I don't think there should be any problems if I pay attention.

Oh, and it's been raining, or at least overcast, the whole time I've been here. So far I'm absolutely loving this! We'll see how long it lasts, considering that tomorrow I really start working :)