I am exhausted! After I got home from picking up the kids today, I gave them some water and some yogurt and was going to take them to the playground that's just around the corner. Everything was fine until Gustav managed to sneak downstairs and saw Esther in her office. Then the shit hit the fan, and the whole charade started.

Gustav was crying and screaming and whining for over an hour. Esther locked her office door so that he couldn't come in because she had a lot of work to do, so he stood right outside of the door, holding on to the doorknob, crying his eyes out. For the life of me I could not get him to go upstairs and leave her alone. I tried taking him to the front door and putting his shoes on to get him out of the house, but he just kicked me. I made him some warm milk because that's what we always give them before they go to sleep, but he wouldn't take it. So I carried him up into his room and closed the door behind us and wouldn't let him out until he calmed down and listened to me. He wouldn't let me pick him up, get him ready for bed, or even go anywhere near him. Pretty much I had to physically force him to do anything, usually by holding him in my arms and pinning his knees to his chest so he couldn't kick or squirm and then carrying him to where I needed him to be. He finally gave in to the fact that he wasn't allowed to go down to the cellar, so he stood at the top of the stairs on the main floor and continued to cry while I played with Pauline in the living room. Gustav called my name a couple of times, because really he doesn't want to be ignored or left alone, even if it isn't his mom who's paying attention. But he still wouldn't come over to me or let me comfort him.

While I had Pauline upstairs and was getting her ready for bed Olaf came home, and as soon as he walked through the door the crying stopped. What a little turd! Esther had been listening to him, though, and she said that if Olaf hadn't come home so early, Gustav would eventually have calmed down and come over to me to comfort him. He had already started to quiet down a little bit, and he didn't have the red spots he gets on his forehead when he's really truly upset, so that's a good thing. But, boy, was it exhausting.

As much as it probably sounded like I was beating her child, Esther was very pleased with how I handled Gustav. She thinks it's important that, when he acts like this, I fight back with him because otherwise it just shows him that I don't really care about him and that he can get away with anything around me. And of course if he gets angry and hits me I'm not going to hit him back, but picking him up the way I did and having that physical contact shows him not only that he doesn't control me, but also that I care enough to fight back.

Apparently the last au pair never really tried to develop a relationship with Gustav. If Gustav had a temper tantrum, she just ignored him completely and gave all of her attention to Pauline. Pauline doesn't fight and get angry the same way Gustav does, so she's easy to handle and fun to be around. Gustav takes work, and she was never willing to give it (nor did she know how) so she didn't have any relationship with Gustav at all, good or bad. It may be a little bit rough right now but when he calms down, you can tell that Gustav really does like me, and that in time it will get better. He even asked me to play a game with him before dinner, so you know he doesn't hate me. As frustrating as today was, I still feel good about the situation.